You do want to have a greater, more meaningful life. This means having specific dreams and goals to guide you.
As holistic coaches, we want to share two master questions that will help you to achieve your all-important dreams.
YOU ARE A PATTERN RECOGNIZER
To understand why these two questions are so powerful, first a little neuroscience (brain science). Your brain has the astonishing capacity to recognize billions of patterns. If I say “cute, wagging tail,” it doesn’t take long to picture a dog.
We can complete countless pictures and sentences just by accessing this vast pattern-recognizing ability we have.
You can harness this vast storehouse of patterns at your fingertips to help you realize your dreams and goals.
The first question is, “What will happen if you don’t go for your dreams and goals?”
The second question is, “What will be it like if you do accomplish your dreams and goals?”
The first question elicits negative patterns, the second one elicits positive patterns. Both are equally important to ask, and work hand in hand.
Let’s give two quick examples on now this works on a dream or goal.
Example 1: Say your dream or goal is to have a business or career you love.
1st Question: “What will happen if you don’t go for a business/career you love?”
Possible answers will come pretty readily.
Such as… I’ll feel unsatisfied. I won’t amount to much compared to what I could have. I won’t be able to help myself and others in a meaningful and exciting way.
2nd Question: “What will it be like if you do find a business or career you love?”
Possible answers: I’ll feel fulfilled. I’ll help myself and others in exciting ways. I’ll be making a difference.
Example 2: You want to reach your ideal weight.
1st Question: “What will happen if you stay overweight?”
Possible answers: I’ll keep feeling tired. I’ll look and feel bad. It may lead to illness and disease. I’ll disappoint myself.
2nd Question: “What will be it like if you do attain your ideal weight?”
Possible answers: I’ll feel and look so much better. I will be healthier and inspire others. I’ll be freer to do and wear what I want.
USE THE CARROT & STICK
Use this carrot or stick approach with these two master questions. The stick is the first question about not going forward, and keeping the status quo. The carrot is the second question of imagining the good things that will come with attaining your dreams and goals.
An important note when you do this exercise: make sure to do the first “stick” question. People sometimes avoid that one (about not getting your goals) because it may bring us some momentary discomfort.
Why make sure to ask it? By harnessing your pattern recognition ability, you will get at a deeper level what will happen if you remain where you are.
By identifying negative consequences of staying where you are (unsatisfying job, sluggish body, etc.), you will get a clear picture. This sharper image will motivate you to go forward, especially after answering the second question.
Otherwise if you avoid the first stick question, you might not get over the hump. You are at risk of staying where you are and getting by with the status quo. In effect, it’s better to chase your dreams rather than run from your fears.
Do this powerful simple exercise as soon as possible. If you delay, your settle-for part can stay in control. Asking these two questions shows you something critical about yourself — your aliveness.
How alive are you with your dreams? How alive are you without your dreams? It’s a big difference.
So be brave and go for it. Ask these two master questions and you might be surprised at what you will learn. It’s time to accomplish your goals.
Fulfilling your dreams will be that much easier…. and life can be so much better!
Turn on your speakers to watch the video below.
Why is it so important to feel good? We often don’t even feel when someone asks how we are feeling. Yet, surprisingly, it’s one of the most important things you can do: feel as good as you can, in each moment.
Why? Positive feelings raise your vibration. So they attract and create what you want. If you are more productive and creative that means you are helping yourself and others.
You can only feel better than you do now, which may not be great depending on your state. But you can always feel better.
The idea is to focus your thought to uplift your feelings. It’s a lifelong meditation. You must be mindful of how you think and the feelings generated.
Positivity Research from Barbara Frederickson and others have found the ratio of positive to negative expressions is key to positive outcomes. They found about 3 to 1 ratio is the tipping point. Below that not much affect may occur.
You can go higher than 3 to 1, but not so high that you become naive and ungrounded, where everything is positive. You must keep your discernment.
So teachers should have 3 positive comments to every 1 negative to students. For partnerships/marriages it’s been found that a high number of positives to negative expressions keeps relationships strong.
So in short, feel good now.
You might want to check out our upcoming telecourse on Manifestation. It’s part of our transformational Holistic Coaching and EFT Certification Telecourse, stating February 12. Click here to find out more about this life-changing training.
Some say the #1 fear is that of public speaking, greater than the fear of death. Perhaps the greatest fear, however, is the fear of selling.
Yet let’s examine why so many do get uncomfortable about selling — and why it’s so valuable to overcome this fear.
WHAT IS SELLING?
Selling ends by exchanging a product or service.
But there are many elements that go into selling. It’s also such a common experience, that we may not realize we are “selling” things ourselves daily, if only by persuading and recommending things to others.
Curiously, most are fine making a recommendation to a friend as long as they don’t benefit financially from the recommendation. However, someone else does benefit from wherever you’ve sent your friend with your recommendation.
Hmmm… something is going on here, something to do with money…. More on this in a moment.
If you send a friend to a movie, the theater and movie industry make the money. If you or someone recommends your product or service, you profit financially. If there is a fair exchange, or a good deal, everyone is happy.
Good selling involves these key things: communication and social skills. You need to communicate what you are recommending and develop a relationship with the other person. To cite and oft-heard phrase, people buy from those they know, like and trust.
Perhaps above all, you need to believe in what you are selling or recommending.
Sometimes people figure they are “not a salesman” type.
Daniel Pink in his book To Sell is Human, notes that the evidence shows most people are a combination of introverts and extroverts, rather than being the pure extrovert sales person type. And you don’t need to be a pure extrovert to sell or persuade people.
TAKING CARE OF YOUR BUSINESS
Even if you are a natural caretaker, you still need communication and social skills to succeed.
Whether you are persuading a child to eat healthily or encouraging a person to join your network, you need skills and determination to make your case. This does not mean you need to be a professional salesperson to develop these practical, valuable skills.
EFT TO THE RESCUE
So it sounds like to many it’s fine to recommend. It’s fine to share. But it’s not ok to make money from someone you know, regardless of the value you are offering them.
The Emotional Freedom Techniques can help you clear limitations around “selling” and money. Here are just a few affirmations to use:
“Even though I might get criticized or rejected if I make an offer, I can still love and accept myself.”
“Even though I distrust sales people, I can still get my message out and offer good value to others.”
“Even though I am not a natural sales person, I can still be paid well for my goods and services.”
“Even though I feel that I shouldn’t sell anything to someone I know, I can still love and accept myself.”
If you can’t sell to your friends, who can you sell to? That leaves strangers or enemies.
We hope we have shed some light on the often exaggerated fear of selling. It’s said that successful people do what others feel they are too good to do. Or are too afraid to do.
Don’t let fear stop you. You have too much to offer to let fear get in your way. Your dreams and goals of a better life are worth it.
Also if you would like to learn more about manifesting, which can include learning about money, selling and so much more check out our upcoming telecourse on “Manifesting Your Dreams,” part of our Holistic Coaching and EFT Certification. Next course starts February 12.
Is the law of attraction working for you or against you?
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How do the law of attraction and Golden Rule relate?
What is the Golden Rule?
Throughout history, major religions as well as great thinkers have put forward this key idea:
Christianity: “Whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them.”
Islam: “No one of you is a believer until he loves for his neighbor what he loves for himself.”
Judaism: “What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow man.”
Buddhism: “Hurt not others with that which pains yourself.”
The Golden Rule is about respecting others. Ultimately, this starts with respecting ourselves. If we are compassionate and caring about ourselves, we can naturally extend that concern to others.
The Law of Attraction
Napoleon Hill, the author of The Laws of Success and Think and Grow Rich, equated the Golden Rule with the law of attraction. In effect, your thoughts and actions get sent back to you.
If you follow the Golden Rule of being kind and considerate to others, others will do the same to you. If you are unfair to others, don’t be surprised if others are resentful and shortchange you.
2 Ways to have the Golden Rule work for you
As Phillip notes in the above video, there are 2 ways to live by the golden rule more easily.
The golden rule is a wonderful example of the law of attraction. It helps you become aware and self-aware… to help the world be a better place for us all.
Here’s a big success secret. What the is balance of helping yourself and others? Watch this short video and find out the balance you need.
Are you ever afraid to offer something to others in fear that you are manipulating them? Particularly if the other person has to pay money for it.
We had such concerns about offering our products and services when we started out, and it held us back for a long time. We would like to share what we’ve learned about this important area.
ON THE MOUNTAIN — OR IN THE MUD?
To understand how to genuinely influence people (not manipulate them), you need to have a purpose and mission to help. Eventually you need to translate your dreams and goals into a viable plan for success. Without a direction, you can end up what we call “wallowing in the mud.”
To explain, let’s use a powerful metaphor. You can either be on the mountain top or stuck in the mud way below. To rephrase, you can be heading up the mountain or sinking down toward the mud.
WHAT’S YOUR PERSPECTIVE?
If you clarify your vision and purpose, you feel empowered. It’s as if you are atop a beautiful mountain with a gorgeous 360-degree view.
You experience love and connectedness. Your broad view lets you dream and play bigger. You think, “What (else) could go right?”
But if you are sloshing down in the mud, your view narrows. You feel seperate and alone. You get stuck on “What could go wrong?”
IN WHICH DIRECTION ARE YOU HEADED?
In addition to describing your feeling-state, the mountain-mud metaphor can describe your direction in life. Are we headed up the mountain or drifting down into the mud?
If you are venturing up the next mountain, you are excited about your goals. You find opportunities and resources to go forward. You know you are a creator, in charge of the direction of your life.
If you are drifting toward the mud, you struggle, trying to stay in a comfort zone. On some level, you know you are sinking into mediocrity and complacency. You feel like a victim, out of control.
When you feel good about yourself and your direction, you freely share with others. You want to authentically influence them for the better, knowing they are free to ultimately decide for themselves.
If you are wallowing in the mud of indecision, vacillating from fear to arrogance, from knowing nothing to knowing it all, then you feel uncertain.
If you recommend something from this low vibration, like your products or services, you worry about offending others or being rejected.
The goal is to live on purpose daily. Then you are more present and engaged. You see broadly from the mountain top. You breathe fresh air into your life.
You know your inspiration and direction will help others too. Then you can truly persuade others and feel good about it. You know the authentic influence of persuasion.
So keep climbing, keep dreaming. Then life’s possibilities open to you regularly, so much so that you will naturally want to share with others.
Phillip Mountrose shows you 3 simple ways to spend more of your time “in the zone,” living your life to its full potential.
As you grow older, an urge tends to become stronger: to make the most of yourself, so you can help yourself and others as much as you can. If you follow this path to fulfillment, you will be happy now and throughout your life.
The challenge comes from the fears that get in your way. Without proper attention, these inner conflicts can stop you from creating an extraordinary lif and accomplishing your life goals.
(By the way, you do deserve an extraordinary life!)
Let’s identify 3 core fears and how you can overcome these fears.
1. FEAR OF FAILURE
“What if my goals and dreams don’t work out?”
Perhaps you’ve tried before and came up short. Perhaps you know little about what you want to explore. Perhaps none of your family or friends have accomplished anything like what you’d like to do.
The journey of a 1000 miles still starts with the first step.
To move forward, let’s use some affirmations to help clarify your mind on fear of failure. You can also use EFT, the tapping technique, to speed up the process of integrating these affirmations.
“Even though I’m afraid I will fail, I can still love and accept myself.”
“Even though I’ve failed before, I can go forward now.”
2. FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN
We often may fear the unknown — but it’s a poor success strategy. To help face uncertainty, it’s good to be prepared, in the right place mentally and physically.
To be your best, you need beneficial routines. Research continues to show how life-enhancing good habits are — such as eating healthy, exercising, sleeping 7-8 hours nightly, and having a support network. The body and emotions thrive when you regularly nurture yourself.
Your body depends on certain necessities. When you take care of your body, you can venture more easily into the unknown, where creativity and more freedom lies. Then you are free to use your creative imagination to craft a wonderful life.
You can also use your fears to energize you. Fears can motivate you to become more innovative and productive.
Make it a priority to use your discernment and find new projects, new friends, new possibilities. Stay curious and take that next step.
Affirmations for fear of the unknown:
“Even though it’s scary doing something I’ve never done before, I can still take care of myself and nurture my spirit.”
“Even though I’m anxious about this new opportunity, I can still find my way and go forward.”
3. FEAR OF WHAT OTHERS THINK
We find that most people are more influenced than they realize by what others think. The idea that someone might criticize or “reject” them stops many people in their tracks.
In truth, most people are too self-absorbed to think that often of others.
If you do ask them to join you in some venture, they may say “no.” They may not understand why you are going in a new area, and possibly will try to stop you “for your own good” — mostly due to their own projected fears.
When we try to please others, we are being co-dependent. Take a cue from those who are already successful: follow your heart and your own dreams. What’s more, team up with some others who can help you advance — either by collaborating or mentoring.
As you go forward, others will too. You will boldly pave the way for others who are ready to break from the herd, too.
Affirmations for fear of what others think:
“Even though people may criticize me, I still love and accept myself and know I’m okay.”
“Even though people may not understand what I’m doing, I’m following my heart and attracting like-minded people as I go forward.”
FINAL THOUGHTS — TAKE A LEAP
Every day you have a choice. To go forward with your hopes and dreams or stay stuck in fear.
Isn’t now the time to turn those fears into motivations for you to go forward? Tap on the fears whenever they show up.
As the poet Apollinaire wrote in his poem “The Leap”:
“Come to the edge, He said.
They said: We are afraid.
Come to the edge, He said.
They came. He pushed them.
And they flew…”
Whether you need an angel – or yourself – (or both) to push you, you too can fly! To the heart of your success.
There are 3 aspects of being in the right place at the right time. Each aspect reinforces the other ones.
1. BEING ON PURPOSE
What is your bigger purpose, beyond just surviving? When you use your gifts and skills to help others, when you have a mission statement, you live on purpose. The idea is to have a vision of a better world — not just generically wanting to help people.
It may involve performing, helping children, offering a service or product. When your life revolves around your passionate purpose, you know you are on track. Your life has daily direction and meaning.
2. OVERCOMING OBSTACLES
Just because you’re on purpose doesn’t mean life is always a breeze. Challenges regularly occur. Here’s the secret: become keenly aware of how you respond to those challenges.
There are 2 kinds of obstacles: one coming from intention, the other from inattention. In the first case, you are on track; in the other, you are off track.
The first kind of challenge naturally arises when you go for your dreams and goals and things get in the way. These can come from outside conflicts as well as your own internal doubts.
Being in the flow includes doing what it takes. Realize that opportunities may be inconvenient. You may need to just hang in there — and sometimes reinvent yourself.
The second obstacle comes when we get off track. At times we are inattentive and careless. Then stuff happens; we get a speeding ticket or make an inconsiderate comment. We may deviate by following bright shiny objects (like a young child), ending up wasting time and money.
Whether we are navigating staying the course or needing to get back on track, we can still do one thing: Make any situation into an opportunity.
To help, use EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) to set your thoughts and feelings aright.
As you take charge of your life, use your setbacks to grow. Look for the good in the sometimes crazy obstacles that you face.
It’s comforting to know you can use any experience in your life. Put those painstaking experiences into your compost pile and watch how they fertilize your dreams and goals.
3. FEELING GOOD
Overall, you feel good when you are on track. You realize, sometimes with a groan, that the setbacks will lead you to where you want to go. It may mean finding a creative solution, persevering or just being more aware.
What does a day of being in the right place at the right time look like?
You’re intent on leading a rich, purposeful life. You want to help yourself, others, and the world in a greater way. Like the Energizer Bunny, you keep on going.
When you experience loss, you find a way to feel better in the moment. You grow and learn. You become continually grateful for all you have.
You wake up and realize, “I’m in the right place at the right time!”
So you continually lead a purposeful life, deal with setbacks, and feel as good as you can (the 3 keys). You then are well-positioned to be in the right place at the right time.
It’s all part of the journey. And if you know where you want to go, it’s much easier to enjoy the ride.