How to Have a Conscious Loving Relationship: Four Secrets

successful-marriageWe all experience success in different areas of our lives. One big area is conscious loving relationships.

The question is how do you do it?/


Knowing HOW you create success can create more abundance in your life.

My wife and I have been fortunate to have success in our careers, finances and health. In this article, we want to share an area that has been increasingly wonderful for us: our successful marriage of 33 years.

Here are four secrets about how we created a thriving, long-term relationship:

1. Choose a long-term loving relationship based on your thoughts and feelings.

For romantic relationships, there are countless people where you have a physical attraction. This attraction is based on body type (as we describe in our Soul Purpose Course) among other things.

If your connection is also based on how you feel and what you think about the other person, your chances of long-term success go way up. Then you enjoy conversations and activities together. You have more in common and more potential to grow together.

2. Accept the other person.

We were fortunate to realize that to have a lasting relationship, we needed to accept each other unconditionally (warts and all).

In this spirit, the EFT classic set-up phrase ends with “…., I deeply and completely accept myself.” This acceptance holds true for yourself and accepting your partner as well.

3. Respond, don’t react.

Even though we accept each other for who we are, there are still times when our actions upset the other person. (“Phillip you didn’t do that again?…”  “Jane, you mean you…?”)

Yes we have disagreements and our behavior can sometimes irritate the other person. We don’t always see eye to eye.

It’s fortunate that as holistic practitioners we have many techniques to soothe the wounds and eliminate blocks. Of course, we teach others how to clear blocks, including relationship issues as well.

Also to help resolve conflict we may also use other techniques:

~ deep breathing
~ slowing down
~ returning to the conflict at a later time, when clearer heads can prevail.

4. Shared spiritual interests.

We met in a Gurdjieff spiritual teaching community decades ago. Fortunately we have both continued to seek spiritual solutions, deeper purpose and following our passion.

We get excited about people, topics and pursuits that spark love, spirituality and transformation — like recently teaching on a hypnotherapy cruise.

As a note, if your partner is not as keen on spiritual pursuits as you are, it’s a matter of finding other common ground and referring to the first three secrets above.


So the four secrets to our successful marriage and relationship may not exactly apply to you. Common themes do emerge:

* follow your heart

* have fun and joy

* be willing to overcome challenges

Furthermore, visualizing and declaring what you want daily can be powerful. You can tap in affirmations, “I am fortunate to have such a wonderful partner in my life and…[fill in the blank to elaborate].”

Appreciate what you have and watch it grow.





Phillip and Jane Mountrose