Is this the #1 Fear?

Some say the #1 fear is that of public speaking, greater than the fear of death. Perhaps the greatest fear, however, is the fear of selling.

Of course, this does not mean everyone suffers from any of these fears. Many are fine with public speaking, death and selling.

Yet let’s examine why so many do get uncomfortable about selling — and why it’s so valuable to overcome this fear.


Selling ends by exchanging a product or service.

But there are many elements that go into selling. It’s also such a common experience, that we may not realize we are “selling” things ourselves daily, if only by persuading and recommending things to others.

Curiously, most are fine making a recommendation to a friend as long as they don’t benefit financially from the recommendation. However, someone else does benefit from wherever you’ve sent your friend with your recommendation.

Hmmm… something is going on here, something to do with money…. More on this in a moment.

If you send a friend to a movie, the theater and movie industry make the money. If you or someone recommends your product or service, you profit financially. If there is a fair exchange, or a good deal, everyone is happy.


Good selling involves these key things: communication and social skills. You need to communicate what you are recommending and develop a relationship with the other person. To cite and oft-heard phrase, people buy from those they know, like and trust.

Perhaps above all, you need to believe in what you are selling or recommending.


Sometimes people figure they are “not a salesman” type.

Daniel Pink in his book To Sell is Human, notes that the evidence shows most people are a combination of introverts and extroverts, rather than being the pure extrovert sales person type. And you don’t need to be a pure extrovert to sell or persuade people.


Even if you are a natural caretaker, you still need communication and social skills to succeed.

Whether you are persuading a child to eat healthily or encouraging a person to join your network, you need skills and determination to make your case. This does not mean you need to be a professional salesperson to develop these practical, valuable skills.


So it sounds like to many it’s fine to recommend. It’s fine to share. But it’s not ok to make money from someone you know, regardless of the value you are offering them.

The Emotional Freedom Techniques can help you clear limitations around “selling” and money. Here are just a few affirmations to use:

“Even though I might get criticized or rejected if I make an offer, I can still love and accept myself.”

“Even though I distrust sales people, I can still get my message out and offer good value to others.”

“Even though I am not a natural sales person, I can still be paid well for my goods and services.”

“Even though I feel that I shouldn’t sell anything to someone I know, I can still love and accept myself.”

 If you can’t sell to your friends, who can you sell to? That leaves strangers or enemies.


We hope we have shed some light on the often exaggerated fear of selling. It’s said that successful people do what others feel they are too good to do. Or are too afraid to do.

Don’t let fear stop you. You have too much to offer to let fear get in your way. Your dreams and goals of a better life are worth it.

Also if you would like to learn more about manifesting, which can include learning about money, selling and so much more check out our upcoming telecourse on “Manifesting Your Dreams,” part of our Holistic Coaching and EFT Certification. Next course starts February 12.



Phillip and Jane Mountrose