Why is it so important to find effective ways to communicate? It is how you connect with others: the lifeblood of your relationships.
So what do top communicators — like Oprah Winfrey, Tony Robbins and Bill Clinton — do that can teach us about communication?
Here are 5 communication tips, which through practice have become traits of great communicators, communication skills that we can develop more in ourselves.
Bill Clinton can be speaking to thousands, but it is as if he is speaking to each person individually. When speaking to an individual, he focuses so intently on them that it brings out the best in that other person.
Connecting is about listening closely to your audience, even if it is just one person. Be attentive, using forethought to genuinely share what is relevant to the other person.
For example, if we are doing a class on life purpose, we would tailor our language and illustrations based on the particular people attending. When writing this article, we keep the readers continually in mind so each part of the writing (hopefully) makes the most sense to them.
2. Being authentic.
Oprah Winfrey is so natural and conversational when she speaks or interviews. She comes from the heart, which can make her light-hearted as well.
The lesson here? Be interested in others and share what is meaningful for you, in a way that can help others. It requires being present and focused in a relaxed way as well.
3. Mastering your subject area.
Any top communicator has delved into his topic deeply, from both research and personal experience. The Dalai Lama, for example, knows Buddhism and meditation intimately, mastering both as a learner and practitioner.
Masterful communicators continue to study the fundamentals of their subject topic, while opening to new areas and discoveries.
We continue to review core success principles each day (such as monitoring our thoughts and words). We also go further in our areas of expertise (such as coaching, energy healing, life purpose, science of getting rich). Such daily focus and study keeps us on track.
4. Being purposeful.
Powerful communicators have a purpose — they act like they are on a mission. Deepak Chopra, for instance, is always showing people ways to elevate their life experience and connect the dots to greater consciousness.
Top communicators dream of a better world — then put their skills, efforts and resources to work. They continually share their commitment with others. Their higher purpose is a framework to put everything into a meaningful context.
We dream of a world that is more collaborative, creative and prosperous, a world where nature is respected and people honored… and that puts everything into perspective for us each day.
The previous four communication qualities — connecting, authenticity, topic mastery and purpose — naturally lead to being inspirational. To be sure, Tony Robbins elevates an audience with his energy and embodies the qualities we have discussed.
The idea when speaking is to control your impulses and express your passions. Good communicators train themselves to be self-aware so they can inspire their audience.
Then communicators can “inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more,” as John Quincy Adams said.
A masterful communicator makes you feel good about yourself — and especially your possibilities. He or she helps us see the stars all around us.
So let’s all take a cue from top communicators. Which of the five areas are calling to you now? Appreciate your strengths and choose an area for improvement.
To be your best, you need to express yourself. It will make you and others feel more alive. Isn’t that what’s it all about?
Current scientific research has shown that we do have areas in the brain that light up when we are motivated to succeed. But there’s more to the story — there’s also another system in the brain that is risk averse, fearful of losing anything it thinks it might have.
PLAYING TO WIN
In sports, this success can translate into playing to win… or playing not to lose. You can play all out or just cautiously, so you don’t lose any gains you made.
On the court, if you are playing too cautiously, trying to avoid any mistakes, it can end up hindering your own game and encouraging your opponent.
So too in life, we can try to protect our gains and avoid risks. Sometimes this is a wise strategy in dangerous waters. However, a life of being too safe and secure turns into nothing ventured, nothing gained.
In effect, we lose the zest for life. Holding too tightly to security and one’s comfort zone can eliminate creativity and deeper meaning. Also with risk comes reward.
PASSION OR CAUTION?
Some people are naturally more cautious. In our partnership, Jane generally is more deliberate and slower to act than Phillip.
Jane can be insightful, weighing options, which can reign in any recklessness in Phillip’s fast actions. On the other hand, Phillip can prod Jane off the over-analyzing couch.
YOUR LARGER PURPOSE
Whether you tend to be cautious or passionate (space here) (failure-avoidant or success-oriented), you still have a higher purpose.
We are all here to help ourselves and others. In order to succeed, we do need to clear blocks along the way. EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is a great tool here.
It is also important to note that you want to apply your gifts and talents to help the world by taking specific action. Just to generically want “world peace” doesn’t get too far.
Developing a business or helping a group of particular people succeed, however, does uplift you and others for a greater good.
Your brain is wired to succeed as well as avoid risks. Each person has a particular inclination or balance between the passion and caution mode.
Nonetheless, we all have beautiful music inside to express. Ultimately the question, then, is whether you are playing your song yet, the one you really want to sing.
Following your heart will embrace both your brain and mind. Don’t hold back. By playing full out, you will succeed.
Most people are challenged by this subject. They wonder how to get money. Let’s explore why.
In The Science of Getting Rich, Wallace Wattles points out that money is necessary to give you access to resources. Access to resources leads to a fulfilling life.
Some people need more resources than others, but anyone who is not in a monastery generally needs a good deal to live comfortably and creatively.
Napoleon Hill also noted that when you need money, there is rarely a substitute. To do things in your life – to provide for your family, travel, invest, pay off debts (survive and thrive) – money is required.
Yet many – if perhaps unconsciously – feel something is wrong with money.
YOUR DEVELOPMENTAL STAGES
Let’s put things in perspective, to understand why this money issue is so prevalent.
As developmental psychologists have researched, people evolve in identifiable stages. As you grow, you take what you learned from one stage and include it with you as your next stage emerges.
So a child takes what it already knows to become a teenager with new learning. To evolve as an adult, however, more conscious growth is required.
At one stage, sometimes called “modernist,” a person with this predominant worldview focuses more on outside success. The upside is tremendous: achievement, technology, science and democracy. The downside is excess materialism.
The next stage, if one reaches it, is called the post-modern, “green” stage. It’s a more inner-focused, feminine stage. Here you become more inclusive of different cultures and peoples, as well as more environmentally sensitive.
The downside is that you can start to reject success and material achievement. This developmental trap throws the baby out with the bathwater.
By avoiding materialism, like a preacher avoids “sin,” you are in reaction mode. You end up against materialism, warding off having things and the money that is required. There’s a vacuum, without a positive solution to focus on.
So pure outer materialism, which some modernists embrace, is limited. But the next developmental stage (post-modern, cultural creative) has limitations too. You can become so inclusive and so environmentally correct, you can end up somewhere between being wishy-washy and too paralyzed to act.
The solution comes with marrying the outer and the inner, achievement and inner awareness. This translates into having goals and dreams in a heartfelt, holistic way.
It means clearing money blocks (like fears of being greedy or undeserving). Then you are free to create and live fully with greater access to resources and the opportunities it brings. Using EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) can help to get clear.
With your thinking right, you realize money is a means not an end. Yes there is excessive commercialism. That doesn’t mean you are a selfish snob if you have money.
After all, how can you help others if you yourself are barely surviving?
If you put your mind to it, you will find your way through trial and error. In time, you become confident enough to drop suspicions and reactivity to success and being sold to. You still use discernment and become a good steward of money.
ARE YOU TOO SENSITIVE?
For some it’s a case of being overly sensitive. However sensitive you are, there comes a point when it can hold you back.
Focusing too much on how the environment is out to get you can weaken your life force. By focusing on the problem too much, you can miss the opportunity to be a change agent and really help others.
It’s time to step up and realize you are a creator, not a victim blaming outside circumstances for your challenges with money and other things.
It’s also time to become more present, mindful of the opportunities each day offers. You can do it — the world needs what you have to offer.
In the process, you learn to master money and success. And it truly becomes a rich and wonderful life, on an inner and outer level.
DO YOU HAVE A DREAM? Do you know PRECISELY what you want to have, do and be?
Most people can’t answer this question and most people fail to achieve the success they want in business and in life. They may have a vague sense of what they want, but they fail to be precise. This is the key.
Living life is about being fully alive — that means growing and continually enriching your life each day. A way of understanding how to have a meaningful life is to “have-do-be” more. Let’s examine each aspect of have-do-be and how they inter-relate.
Having is commonly associated with material things, like a better car or house. To be sure, it’s fun to savor the finer things in life.
Also it can be about having experiences — savoring great relationships,fun vacations, and exciting personal growth seminars. Generally, you need resources to have more, which includes money and the time to experience what you have.
Of course, just acquiring things, simply for the sake of having things, is short-lived and unfulfilling. However, if you connect having things with having wonderful experiences, you become more fulfilled. You feel more alive, more of who you truly are.
In their book Well Being, Tom Rath and Jim Harter report Gallup Polls found these characteristics of fulfilled people:
* They manage what they have well
* They “buy” experiences that create lasting memories
* They are generous, giving to others
HERE’S WHERE PEOPLE GET STUCK
Many people get stuck when it comes to “having” things. They are afraid to dream. We had to clear out limiting beliefs and cloudy thinking about being too greedy and materialistic because we wanted to have more and be successful.
As this article explores, if you have-be-do more in the way that is right for you, you will get the most out of life. You become a creator and more opportunities emergy. Life becomes more on purpose, as you are better able to help yourself and others.
Besides appreciating what you have (be it things or experiences), there’s also evaluating what you do.
For a more meaningful life, it’s wise to take inspired action, in both work and play. This means listening to your inner wisdom and acting on it. Inspired action feels good (without being addictive).
Also, if you are a goal-driven person, you have the wind behind your back. You have a sense of purpose, so your actions naturally fulfill what is most meaningful to you.
People who connect what they do with a larger purpose then connect their daily actions with this bigger picture. They also continue when challenges arise, because they know their persistence will take them to where they want to go: a better, richer life that helps others.
For example, if you want to build a business, you will find ways to reach out to others. You will let them know what you have to offer and how it can benefit them. You also won’t let the no’s stop you from finding the yes’s.
Inspired action helps you overcome the inevitable obstacles you will face as you go forward. You know you are worth it and the results are in alignment with what you want to have-do-be.
Inspired play includes hobbies, travel and trips, and sports that we enjoy. As in work, you can follow your passions when you play. Life is about having fun, too. It makes us feel good, knowing that wonderful things are happening every day.
Being more is about who we are and who we are becoming. It’s about our transcendent higher self, the one that witnesses all the having and doing.
To be includes having and doing in a loving, inspired way, where we grow and become more. To be more, we find ways to use our gifts to serve ourselves and others more.
Sometimes “being” comes from meditating, reading, listening to music, or nature walks. It’s about connecting with bigger worlds — both inside and outside of us.
Sometimes we sit back, shrink and stay inside our shell. If we stay where we are for too long, we will – in Will Rogers’ words – eventually be “run over.”
So we recommend having this strong intent: to have-do-be more. As a result of this intent and following through, you will grow, have fun, contribute and feel good.
Here are just a few suggestions for your daily regimen:
· Talk to someone new today or revisit an old relationship
· Listen to or read inspiring information
· Treat your body well (exercise, eat well)
Know you are worth it. As you grow, so does your world. Go for it!
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By Jane Mountrose
Of all the books I have ever read, Wallace Wattles 1910 classic The Science of Getting Rich has had the greatest and most transformational impact.
My first thoughts about this book were that it would probably be way too materialistic for me. With over three decades of exploring personal growth and spiritual development, I view life as a profound journey to wholeness. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that Wallace Wattles did, too.
This was where it got interesting. You see, Wattles understood the Law of Attraction. He also understood what quantum physics is now proving to be true. Everything is energy and everything is connected. And within this sea of energy resides an infinite intelligence and infinite power that you and everyone can access to create whatever you want.
Wallace Wattles further stated that the purpose of life is increasing life and we are all entitled to all of the life we are capable of attaining. Think about it. Is there anything you want more than to feel completely alive and excited about what you’re doing?
I am grateful each day to Wallace Wattles, who paints this picture of reality:
When I first read this, I was awestruck by the way Wattles put the whole picture together. It made complete sense and instantaneously freed me of any vestiges of guilt about wanting more money. Reading on, I was even more impressed that Wattles succeeded in putting the whole picture together by teaching the reader how to think and do things in what he called “a certain way” that just about anyone could follow to get rich.
He took us on a journey from viewing ourselves as victims of circumstances to creators of our lives. Deep down inside, everyone wants this.
CLICK HERE to learn more about how you can make this shift and create the life you truly desire.