Dealing with Negative Emotions: Letting Go of the Demons
How do you deal with negative emotions? We all have difficult times: setbacks, losses and the consequences of poor choices. The more time you have lived longer you live, the more challenges you’ll face.
Of course, we want to shorten the times we experience negative impact and quickly recover and restructure. We also want to learn and grow from life’s challenges and hardships.
With uncertainty and tough times come troubling emotions: doubt, anxiety, loneliness and fear.
Releasing negative emotions is about reframing them. Let’s see how to reframe – look at through a different lens — challenging feelings that we inevitably face throughout life
Releasing Doubt and Anxiety
Say you started something new: a relationship, a training, a business, or an investment. Then the second-guessing thoughts occur. Especially after things don’t go as smoothly as you hoped. Maybe your new venture isn’t as good as you thought. Maybe much worse.
Negative thoughts: “It won’t work out.” “I made a mistake.”
Reframe: Be patient, vigilant and stay calm. Also, remember Mark Twain’s insight: “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”
So that leaves a reality check of what is negative speculation versus what you can do about your legitimate concerns. Perhaps a discussion with a supportive person is in order, or some research or a change in direction.
Positive Thoughts: “Give it time and evaluation.” “I can find ways to move forward.”
Releasing Loneliness and Emptiness
After a loss — be it moving to a new location or loss of a job, or more severe, a loved one – a void opens up. You can feel lost in an empty space, with no boundaries and where things are ablur. Familiar routines and stability are gone and you are “at a loss” as what to do, how to proceed.
Negative Thoughts: “I am all alone.” “No one is here for me.”
Reframe: Keep breathing, be mindful and explore. Loneliness can become a reflective solitude, where a quiet peace can reside.
How can you make the most of your new situation? How can you start to create a new life, even if it is like the phoenix rising out of the ashes? Even without a loved one, you can explore, create and appreciate (including treasured memories of the one who is no longer on the physical plane with you).
Positive Thoughts: “I can enjoy the solitude.” “I can support myself and be self-reliant, plus reach out to others.”
As noted by Mark Twain’s quote above, much of our fears never come to pass. Yet some health and financial scares are legitimate. You actually may have a serious loss of energy or chronic pain; you may owe thousands of dollars.
Negative Thoughts: “This is a disaster.” “I’ll never get through this.”
Reframe: Slow down, reflect and consider your options again. Are you making a mountain out of a molehill? Are you focusing on the problem instead of the solution?
Your brain will oblige you with deepening neural pathways that are either fear-ridden or hopeful and transformative — depending on your focus.
You can still control your thoughts and feelings. You do have resources and can find more options. You are a creator, not a victim.
Positive Thoughts: “I can make the best of this.” “I can find my way.”
Final Thoughts on Releasing Emotions
The longer you live, the more you see that life is a series of surprises, from day to day. Yet with focus and purpose you can create a wonderful destiny. You will build a richer you, and, what’s more, others will benefit in the process.
Actually your life purpose — dedicating yourself to something larger than yourself (a cause, a person, a group) — can help you to powerfully reframe emotions.
It is about reframing your life’s challenges. See hope where there was dread, promise where there was doubt, solitude and peace where there was emptiness.
Ultimately, it’s about finding a trust in the universe, doing your part and being supported as well as supporting others.
In turn, you become clearer, and more resilient and confident. More on your game rather than being a sore loser.
Yes, know that wonderful possibilities are there for you!