How do you keep going with a zest for life, thriving and flourishing throughout your life? The key is learning to be adaptable. That means being resilient and flexible, bouncing back and bouncing forward.
To understand how adaptability can help us thrive, let’s first look at the world we’re living in, both individually and collectively.
A World Out of Control
Some people describe the world as getting crazier and crazier. It’s like being in a high-speed car race or trying to keep more and more plates spinning in the air. It can make your head spin!
In this age of technology and information, we’re more globally connected than ever. Information is abundant and growing exponentially. And the resulting overload can leave us feeling overwhelmed and out of balance.
Social media puts countless people seemingly within reach, yet these connections often lack depth.
As the world moves at a dizzying pace and seems increasingly out of control, it’s natural to feel disconnected and overwhelmed. So how do we find our footing amid all this change?
Adapting as You Age
How we adapt to life’s circumstances tends to change as we grow older.
In your twenties, you might be exploring your options, making a living, and starting a family. In your thirties and forties, you may focus more on building a career and doing purposeful work. You make longer-term plans, perhaps while taking on additional caregiving responsibilities.
By your fifties and beyond, your priorities may shift toward making a contribution, helping others, and finding deeper meaning. As you grow older, you may also need to pay more attention to caring for your body and maintaining your well-being.
Adapting to Change
So, how do you adapt to these changing circumstances?
In conversations with peers in the later stages of life, Phillip has noticed that many no longer feel as on top of their schedules as they once did. But you don’t have to be 60 or older to lose track of appointments and responsibilities. Consider these examples:
- An office where you have an appointment fails to send a reminder, perhaps because of internal changes. Or you overlook the text or email reminder it did send. You forget to put something on your calendar—or forget to check it.
- One person told Phillip that he showed up for a Zoom meeting and wondered why no one else was there. When he checked his calendar, he discovered the meeting was scheduled for the following Friday, even though he had remembered to check his calendar. He was looking at the right day for the Zoom meeting, but it was occurring the next week.
- When we’re absorbed or preoccupied with one activity, such as planning an event or working on a creative project, it’s easy to lose sight of everything else.
These kinds of mishaps are a normal part of life. What matters is how we respond to them. Do we navigate the unexpected and go with the flow, or do we become consumed by frustration and get derailed?
Good Boundaries and Becoming Adaptable
Boundaries— the limits we establish in our relationships and within ourselves —play an important role in how adaptable we are.
Boundaries with Others
When we try to control people or convince them to think and act a certain way, how does that usually turn out?
As Samuel Butler famously wrote:
“He that complies against his will is of his own opinion still.”
Accepting others as they are, while continuing to support them, can make us more adaptable. This doesn’t mean abandoning our values or giving up on a relationship. It means recognizing what we can and cannot control (and the “wisdom to know the difference”).
There’s no set formula here to follow. The key is to pay attention to your feelings and intuition. Give yourself some space, and consider giving the other person a little room, too.
Boundaries with Yourself
Pay attention to your own thoughts and feelings. When they turn negative and fear or doubt begins to grip you, it’s time to pause, breathe, and slow down.
You may have already started down the rabbit hole of rumination and exhausting self-criticism. Still, you can find your way back out, sometimes surprisingly quickly.
Quiet your mind. Go for a walk. Give yourself a chance to reset.
It also helps to keep a few simple, reassuring phrases handy, such as:
- “I’ll get through this.”
- “I can handle this.”
- “It will work out.”
These reminders won’t make every problem disappear, but they can help you regain perspective and respond more calmly.
Conclusion: Keep Bouncing Forward
There are a few realities we need to face. Some things are out of our hands. We can’t slow the world down, and we can’t control other people.
But there is also plenty we can do, and that’s empowering. We can change how we greet and meet each day. We can flexibly respond when things don’t go as planned.
Adaptability isn’t about keeping up with everything. It’s about staying flexible, forgiving yourself when something slips or goes wrong. It’s about knowing how to calm yourself when your mind starts spinning.
Small practices can make a meaningful difference:
- Finding a calendar system that works for you
- Allowing more space, understanding, and acceptance in your relationships
- Offering yourself a few kind, reassuring words when life gets difficult
Each of these practices strengthens the resilience that helps you navigate change. You learn to bounce back from setbacks and bounce forward into new possibilities. Plus, you are keeping your zest for life alive along the way.
What is one small way you can be more adaptable this week?
