Becoming More Authentic: Getting Comfortable in Your Own Skin

Remember when you felt at ease in a situation, be it in a social setting or out in nature by yourself?

It can feel good to be where you are – without having to put on a certain face or act in some way (to protect yourself or fit in).

The freedom of just being at ease with yourself is a joy of being who you are, in the moment – a spiritual being exploring a human experience.

How then to be more authentic, more reliably showing up in your own skin, which is such an effortless and natural way to be?

Here are four aspects to keep in mind.

What Lights You Up?

What lights you up?  What brings a smile to your face, straightens your posture, makes you lean forward and ready to go?

Our dear friend and colleague Micah Blacklight discussed activating your creative spirit on a past Soulful Living Show. He emphasized finding ways to embody a space that lights you up, which serves yourself and others. This light-you-up spot is the “happy point, the juice.”

The phrase “what lights you up” contains many wonderful elements. Let’s unpack four of its treasures, so we can use them to create an extraordinarily fulfilling life.

As a note, know that the “lighting up” can come from within or without. Internally, we may get sparked by a thought, feeling, memory or energy state. Externally, we might connect with a person, place, event or thing.

What lights you up has all of the following elements: 

Opening the Heart and Mind

Two things are required to awaken in this lifetime: opening your mind and your heart.

As you open your heart and mind, wonderful things happen to you.

With an open mind and heart, life becomes a wondrous adventure, one of continuous learning and creating.  You are able to be more in the moment ─ and notice more of the synchronicities that surround you.

On the other hand, when the mind and heart are closed, our view is limited. These blinders reduce emotions to constrictive ones, like fear, doubt, and anger.

It’s essential to open both the heart and mind. A too-open heart can cause you to be naïve and overly trusting. You lack discernment and can be the fool rushing in where angels fear to tread.

On the other hand, if your mind is open but your heart isn’t active, then you may become overly mental and analytical. You know things but are lacking a feeling about them.  Feelings may be hard to fathom and identify. You can grow detached from life and love.

As a note, for this article we are speaking of the mind that connects with source, not the physical brain, which filters the mind’s thoughts and energies. The mind uses the brain to communicate with the physical body.

We are also speaking of the spiritual heart here, not just the anatomical heart. The spiritual heart is a bridge to the soul and spirit. It opens us to the timeless realms ─ this connection then sends a transmission so we can be more in our body and present to our experience.

Here are a few suggestions for opening your mind and heart.

Four Benefits from the Pandemic

To state the obvious: the pandemic sucks. But complaining only gets you so far before it turns into its opposite ─ and then a negative attitude becomes another problem to deal with.

So instead, let’s look at what good can come from the pandemic.  (Did they say “good”?) In other words, how we can use the pandemic rather than be consumed by it?

Consider then the following four areas.

1. A time to consider our history 

Know Yourself: Your Greatest Lesson and Greatest Gift

Asking the Right Questions

Are you asking the right questions?  Perhaps more basically, are you asking ANY questions? Asking the right questions is critical for success in work, life and spiritual growth. As coach and holistic practitioners, it is central to our work as well.

Let’s explore why questions are so essential to living fully.

We often discuss ways to be more hopeful and live a grounded life,  one filled with joy and fulfillment.  Let’s start with a useful question: What gets in the way?

One of the signs that a person is off-course is living too much on autopilot.  That means letting the unconscious and others direct your life. It means being run by habits and routines, continually putting out fires in order to complete to-do lists ─ and starting all over again tomorrow.

Here’s another question then: How do you get out of this Groundhog Day kind of existence? How do you stop the momentum of hurry and worry and break the cycle?

In order to bring in more hope, aliveness and wisdom, pause and start to question. In other words, be aware of whether you’re just reacting and continuing on uninterrupted.

Take a breath… Explore what’s in this moment, as well as take in the big picture.

Here then are three ways to start asking good questions:

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How to Awaken the Power and Wisdom of Your Soul

5 Lessons from the Pandemic

The pandemic is changing our way of life. Part of this change includes experiencing multiple losses (such as health, income, freedom, emotional stability and more).

All of which is teaching us that less can be more.

Shifting more inward, the essence of things is emerging. Coming into view are five key lessons that are up for learning.  Let’s look at them now in brief.

The One-Step Miracle

What’s a miracle hidden in plain sight? It’s so close you might miss it, just a step away. The miracle is that no matter where you are, whatever you are doing, wherever you might want to go, you can take the next step.

Just as there is a next moment in time, so is there is a next step in space. And as time and space come together in your awareness, you get in sync, in flow.

Your next step can launch the journey of a thousand miles, which metaphorically and literally can be the journey of your life.

Our Move

When we were about fifty years old, we wanted to move to a new location. We decided to move to a small city on the Central California Coast. It was much more scenic than where we lived at the time and it felt like the right place for us, although we had no roots there.

This was a big step of course. And it took many little steps to eventually move, including selling our house and moving our home and business. And it took a lot of patience and trust for it to all come together.

But each step counted and took us eventually to the desired outcome.

How to Have a Fulfilling Life

To be successful is wonderful. That includes being abundant. Ultimately, you need fulfillment to be deeply satisfied, continually renewed and enriched.

Let’s examine what is fulfillment and how to “have” it. (Hint: it’s not something you can possess, and the more you try to grasp it, the more elusive it becomes.)

Fulfillment is a process, a journey. It’s finding more meaning, purpose and positive feedback in your life. It brings you to a deeper, more ever present place.

To be fulfilled, you draw from your past, hope toward the future and ground it all here right now. Let’s look at keys to your fulfillment.

Your Power

As Roman emperor and philosopher Marcus Aurelius said, “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” We can make those thoughts soul-infused with our presence.

By monitoring your thoughts and feelings, you can create a higher set point, the internal reference on how you view the world.

The old default set point is …