Do you accept yourself, warts and all? The first part of this question might get an immediate yes, but there may be a pause when it comes to accepting your blemishes.
Accepting yourself means acknowledging yourself as you are. Like justice, it just is. You just are. This entails some figuring out of who you are and being okay with the different parts of yourself.
To get clarity, let’s first identify what self-acceptance is not. Self-acceptance is not…
* …blaming and putting yourself down
* …inflating yourself
* …denying what is happening to you
Before we suggest ways to accept yourself, consider this: Psychologist Carl Rogers observed, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I change.”
Paradoxically, then, to become a better you, you must first be okay with who you are now.
In EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) terms, “Even though I have this [issue], I deeply and completely accept myself.” Then the tapping realigns the thought with the energy circuits.
If you can accept yourself, even with the warts, you’ll bring peace of mind and cultivate a mindful wisdom.
How then do you accept yourself? Here are four ways:
How do you find your life purpose and stay on track?
At a certain point, your life calls out to you to become more. This is a deeper call, beyond self-improvement or doing more of the same just better.
How then do you get to this higher octave, where you hear and play the wonderful music in your everyday life?
In his forties, Phillip started to feel a growing dissatisfaction with being an educator. He felt good about helping children in the classroom, but somehow he was missing the boat, staying in the harbor of his life.
Jane had a more severe wake-up call. She burned-out at her high-stress architect job, finally getting chronic fatigue and was unable to work full time. She felt her soul was dying.
Eventually, we both found our truer callings as healers, coaches and energy pioneers, and were fortunate enough to stay together and become stronger in the process.
To get an overview, let’s briefly track the path to realizing your life purpose. At first life is about growing up into adulthood. By early adulthood you can probably take care of your own needs and maybe support a partner and family.
When we pause a moment, look up and wake up, we realize something… We are surrounded in a mystery, a mystery play we call “life” in general, and specifically our own life.
So first, what does it mean that life is a mystery or “life’s mysteries”? A mystery is by definition “something difficult or impossible to understand or explain.” Can we “solve” life’s mystery or is something else going on here?
For example: just 4 percent of the universe (stars, planets and galaxies) are visible. The other 96 percent hides in mysterious dark matter. And we are only talking about the physical world, not the internal, subjective parts of ourselves. How much do we know of our own thoughts, feelings and states? How much are we aware of in any given moment?
Yes, much to consider and explore here…
Though much of the light spectrum and physical world is unknown, and much of our own internal world is also hidden, we still have clues via outcomes. What is happening externally, and what are the results, however mysteriously created. We can take stock of our mood and mindset, even if we are not sure how we arrived there. We can certainly set the stage for favorable results and get insights from the outcomes we experience.
So here are four keys to exploring the mystery of life:
How do you see your life? Joyous or stressful, easy or hard; creative or monotonous? Of course life is not black and white, either/or. Yet we can choose to live more joyously and easily, as a conscious decision.
We often default into hurry and worry as a result of life’s challenges. This lends itself to a negative focus, something inherent in us, a primitive protective measure to keep us safe.
But unless we are in a truly dangerous situation, it’s not worth being on guard continuously, for that only creates undue tension and stress.
So how do you inject more joy and ease into your life? It will bring more light and lightheartedness into your life. Let us describe four keys, which – if you follow them – can be a gamechanger for the quality of your everyday life.
Let’s see how your life purpose can be your ultimate focusing tool. First consider how do you deal with life’s ever-increasing pace of change?
The growing problem is that we are inundated with information, choices and constant “breaking news.” As a result, we become driven by distraction.
It’s like carrying too many objects and moving too quickly. We are trying to stay afloat and get through the day – not a fun way to make a living, much less a life.
By just trying to get through the day, we get bogged down in one thing after another. Where did we start and where are we going? Awash in hurry and worry, we feel like we are treading water. We are trying to keep up, but for what purpose?
How do you offset society’s ever-quickening pace? Discover and live your life purpose. It’s really the ultimate focusing tool.
It guides you on where to go, your destiny. You then feel energized and alive. You know that you are here for a reason, which you are playing out and advancing each day.
With a sense of purpose, life’s everyday stressors are put into a bigger context. They become part of building you and your character, so you can express your purpose.
Here are four key points to consider for using your life purpose as the ultimate focusing tool:
What is the purpose of your life? Your life purpose is all-important, yet seemingly elusive and abstract. It seems at once urgent yet obscure. It’s difficult to express, at least initially.
Yet with all its mystery, your purpose it’s what you are here to do and accomplish. It’s what makes your life more meaningful and significant.
Your life purpose gives your life a broad, overarching theme. It may focus on your love of music or humor. It may be raising awareness on social or environmental issues. It may be improving online or offline communication It may be building things, or performing with a greater purpose. it may be serving as a role model for others.
Close range it may seem hard to figure. Yet a wider lens can be revealing.
Your life purpose could be seen as a paradox. A paradox is defined: as “a seemingly absurd or self-contradictory statement or proposition that when investigated or explained may prove to be well founded or true.”
To explore this lofty yet practical topic, here are some things to consider:
Life comes with stress, some necessary and some not. Life is the ultimate stress test. So what can you do about it?
We want to help you develop a game plan for dealing with life’s tensions. In other words, ways to pass the ultimate stress test – your life.
Ordinarily, a stress test means finding out your heart’s health by going on a treadmill or other monitoring programs. For banks, a stress test determines how well they can withstand an economic crisis.
Thoreau advised to go “confidently in the direction of your dreams, and live the life you have imagined.” But how do you do that?
“Manifest” is defined as “to make evident or certain by showing or displaying.” How do things go from invisible to invisible, from your mind to appearing in the outer world, from your imagination to something you can see, feel, touch with your external senses?
One of the strange secrets of manifesting is you actually don’t know “how” things will manifest. Yes you have at least a sense of the outcome, where you want to go, but how exactly you get there is somewhat of a mystery.
What’s a must-have quality to live fully? The older you get, the more challenges you will face. By using your life experiences, you can navigate through the sometimes treacherous terrain.
To deal with challenges, both big and small, develop resilience — an essential spiritual quality. When you’re resilient, you recover from setbacks. You adapt to changing circumstances. And fortunately resilience is learnable, regardless of your genes or temperament.
It’s been noted that US college students in recent years have become less resilient. They seek help from counselors for ordinary problems like fitting into a new environment, living more independently, relationships and life’s problems (like finding a mouse in the dorm and having a mental breakdown).
Although genetics and early programming do make some people more resilient, all people can make changes in the way they respond. It’s important to become more resourceful and a problem solver, and not overly dependent on others. Resilience is not a fixed trait and you can shift your set point in this area.
1. Be Flexible
Like a branch, you need to be bendable or you will break. To be resilient, you need to be flexible. On a physical level, this means keeping your body in shape by eating healthily, exercising and resting sufficiently.
On a mental-emotional level, you want to be agile flexible and creative too.
Much of life takes place in our comfort zone. To survive, we need to be safe and protected. We naturally enjoy creature comforts. We also have routines to give us a sense of order and predictability.
But if we spend too much time in the comfort zone, it becomes a waiting room. Then time passes mindlessly and we live more on the surface of life.
Granted different people tolerate different levels of risk. Some are more server types and may smooth things over in their affable ways. Others are more warrior types, and thrive on risk and confrontation. Regardless of where you fall naturally on the spectrum, you still have a balance between safety and risk, the familiar and the new.
If you get too comfortable, you settle. As Abraham Maslow noted, “One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again.”